Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
