I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
