She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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