wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
