i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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