Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize