Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize