I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
