Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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