No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
kristin has been a bad kristin
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
