I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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