you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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