Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
