I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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