what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
