Dual....:-)
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
