whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
