What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
