so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
