is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
