So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
