I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
