so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
