i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
