Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
