Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
