my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
