My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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