the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
