So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
