thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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