So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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