I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
