Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
