That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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