if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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