dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i may or may not be watching the land before time
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize