i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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