So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
