There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
