I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
