No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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