why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize