So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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