You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
