You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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