so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Shame - the story of my life.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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