at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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