i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
