I'm eating all of the evidence.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
ttyl tear gas
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
