oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
