I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it was like eating out sand paper
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
