Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
