well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
