I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The Olympian is in my bed
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
