Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my sisters under your porch take her home
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
