Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
