Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think your dad took our porno
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
you made out with another girl for some wings
PANTIES FOUND
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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